Okay, everybody sing it with me now.
“Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip that started from this tropic port aboard this tiny ship…”
Long ago, before the days of TVLand – back when televisions had dials and UHF was a common term – I would spend more than an hour every afternoon watching reruns of “Gilligan’s Island,” “The Brady Bunch,” and “The Beverly Hillbillies.”
I loved it.
Last week I found out that the characters in the classic TV sitcom “Gilligan’s Island” will be fitted for Hollywood’s silver screen. Considering how much I liked the show, you’d think I’d be excited about this.
Not so much.
I can’t help but wonder how the writers will take the premise of being stranded on a deserted island and turn it into something that hasn’t been done yet.
(Hellooo...Lost? Cast Away?)
Furthermore, if the writers of the new Gilligan's Island movie sets the story in present-day, how will they make the S.S. Minnow crew’s plight to get off of the island believable?
Think about it.
Mr. and Mrs. Howell – the wealthiest passengers of the ill-fated cruise ship – would be stranded in a place where they don’t have to worry about taxes.
Ginger – the Hollywood starlet – wouldn’t have to worry about the paparazzi.
MaryAnn wouldn’t have to worry about the impact climate change will have on the crops on her Kansas farm. Nor will she have to worry about being targeted by PETA for her methods of raising livestock.
The Professor could waste away the rest of his days researching the effects of social isolation on the human psyche.
Without processed food influencing his blood sugar, the Skipper might finally get his anger management and weight issues under control. (I can say this because I have issues of my own.)
And if Gilligan stays on the island, he never has to worry about what Skinny Mulligan will do when he realizes Gilligan wore his shirt without asking.
None of them would have to put up with 24-hour news feeds, political correctness and the endless blatherings of government figureheads.
Gosh. That sounds kind of like heaven to me.
What WOULDN’T you miss if you were stranded on a deserted island?