Friday, July 18, 2008

Survey says . . .

And the Secret Agents says: SCORE!

In my last post, I talked about a contest I entered in which the first 250 words of a manuscript would be posted for public critique. One of the folks offering feedback is a "secret" agent for a New York lit agency. Her identity will be revealed on Monday. I'm a little excited because I will know a good person to query when I'm done with my final tweak-edit.

Here's the comment she left on my entry:
Secret Agent said...
Yup. I'd ask for pages here. I agree that there is a little trimming that could go on in the third and fourth paragraphs specifically--"serene lucidity," "nagging impatience," these are lots of modifiers--but there's a very strong sense of personhood here that I'd want to check out.

I'm completely OK with this comment. Regardless of what several other readers on the blog have said: It's too whiny...Too much telling...not enough action...I'm perfectly happy. It's the agent's thoughts that matter. Right?

Plus the not enough action and the too whiny comments would be wiped away when they read the prologue. As for too much telling... Heather has a huge, huge, huge story to tell. I'm starting in media res (in the middle); I don't know what else I could do.

Anyway, I'm on vacation next week. So no bloggy updates. I'll be in the Black Hills Wilderness in a tent with my two daughters and sister. Sorry.

I'll make it up to you all when I come back with videos! Yea! (I'm attempting a Harney Peak hike next week. That should be interesting. It'll be well worth checking out. I'm sure.)

Later Taters.

1 comment:

Sheri Boeyink said...

Congrats on the Secret Agent comments!