This is my 6-year-old daughter. We call her Boop -- a nickname she earned when she was still a baby.
Let me tell you about my little Boop. I'm certain she's preparing for the 12th annual Great American Comedy Festival competition in Johnny Carson's hometown of Norfolk, Nebraska.
(I say 12th annual because she's only six and the festival just had its inaugural kickoff last week. It gives her plenty of time to develop her monologue.)
She's a comedian, you see.
I'm not just saying this from the standpoint of a proud mother who thinks her daughter is the cutest thing either. My Boop really is a comedian.
Her comedic forte is vocabulary. She makes up words and names for things people like you and I would never think to identify.
For instance, during a leg wrestling match with her 13-year-old sister, Boop's foot slipped and cracked her older sister in the crotch. Without missing a beat, my 6-year-old released an evil laugh and said, "Ha! I State Patrolled you! I win."
So, there you have it. When a guy gets kicked in the crotch, it's called getting racked. When a girl gets kicked in the crotch, it's called a state patrol. That's according to my Boop anyway.
Boop has also taken it upon herself to break down wedgies into categories. In her world, there is now a description for the various sorts of wedgies.
For example, a wedgie in which the hem of someone's underwear is pulled so high it can touch the back of their head is called a Texas Wedgie. I guess, all things great in size come from Texas, right?
A wedgie administered from the front side also has a name. Boop calls a wedgie of this variety of Frotler. Let's just hope no one tries to administer the Texas Frotler. That might have devastating residual effects.
I tried to tally her comedic efforts up to summer boredom, but she's been coming up with quirky things like this her entire life. I can't wait to see what else comes out of her mouth.
I'll keep you posted.