Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Q is for Things That Drive Me Crazy

I'm doing the A-to-Z Blog Challenge.

Today is for Q, and Q is for QUIT.

The people who are friends with me on Facebook know I occasionally go off on little rants about various irritations I encounter throughout the course of my day.

I try to make them humorous because, let's be honest, negativity is off-putting enough, and my (generally PMS-driven) ravings have the potential to be offensive.

But -- and again, let's be honest -- there are certain things that people need to quit doing.

Today I've compiled an incomplete list of those things.

So here's my list of things people should immediately QUIT doing:
  • Driving like jerks. This tops my list of pet peeves. At any given moment, someone I love is out on the roads, and I want them to come home safely. Unless you or a loved one is on the way in or on the way out of this world, there is no reason to tailgate, use excessive speed or jackrabbit in and out of lanes.
  • Texting and driving. This kind of goes hand-in-hand with the first one, but it's so important it deserves its own bullet point. Just don't.
  • Trolling on the Internet. It's like the old saying goes: "If you can't type something nice, go stick your fingers in a blender."
  • Sharing political memes on social media without verifying the accuracy of the information. Always check your sources.
  • Bombarding your friends with your political views. NEWSFLASH: You're not going to change anyone's mind. You're only going to alienate half of the people on your friends list. 
  • Threatening to unfriend social media friends because of their political views or beliefs. You're not going to change anyone's mind, but you might learn something about people who think differently than you do.
  • Clicking on click bait. You're only feeding the monster.
  • Blocking the aisle at Wal-Mart or any other store on the planet to have a lengthy conversation with a friend or to have a cell phone conversation.
  • Welcoming a pet into your home and deciding two months later that "it's just not working out." If you're not going to treat your pet like a member of the family, then you don't deserve one.
  • Turning your children against your ex-spouse because you don' t like him or her. It's called parental alienation, and it's a douchey thing to do. 
  • Doubting yourself. Not to be too cliche, but the only person who truly fails is the one who doesn't try at all.
  • Expecting others to do everything for you. Think, for a moment, about Mount Rushmore or St. Louis's Gateway Arch and then let the realization wash over you that those larger-than-life places exist because ONE PERSON had an idea and he got others to go along with it. YOU.HAVE.NO.EXCUSE.

  • Being a jerk, in general. If you want to get others on board with your "monumental plans," then it's best to have as many people in your corner as possible.
There it is. My unfiltered, unfunny and incomplete QUIT list for a better life. 

Have I missed anything?

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Kathryn Harris is an award-winning journalist, professional whiner and author of the contemporary not-nearly-enough-smut-for-today's-horndog-readers novel "The Long Road to Heaven."

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