Up until it arrived in my inbox, I'd been able to hold back the tears that had been ripping at my insides since I'd learned about the 26 people who were murdered at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut.
I work in the media. We're supposed to be strong. We're not supposed to let on how we feel. We're supposed to present a jaded facade.
That's not always the case. Some of us have hearts, warm hearts that beat and break and bleed like most everyone else.
Mine has been shattered since Friday morning. And the ugly, impulsive reactions I've seen on social media sites and in news forums have further chipped at the tiny pieces that are left.
Perhaps the most devastating reactions I've seen are those who say they have given up on God because he "allowed this tragedy to happen" and those who insist we need to blame those who kicked God out of our public school system.
But you don't have to believe in God for him to be present. And God WAS present at Sandy Hook Elementary School on Friday.
He was with every small child who found the courage to run past the shooter to find safety.
He was in the heart of Victoria Soto, the teacher who sacrificed her own life to save the lives of the children she'd been entrusted to protect.
He was in the heart of Dawn Hochsprung, the principal who lunged at the shooter in an attempt to stop him.
He was in the heart of the teachers and faculty members who led the children to safety.
He was with the one who locked the classroom door to protect her classmates and later insisted police show their ID before she let them in.
He was in hand-to-hand combat with whatever evil had possessed the shooter.
He was steadying the hands and bolstering the hearts of law enforcement who dealt with the aftermath.
He stood on the other side of this realm, with his arms outstretched, ready to greet those whose bodies were too broken to continue walking on their earthly path.
He's with us as we try to make sense of this tragedy. And if we "be still" and truly seek to know, we will eventually realize we are not supposed to make sense of it.
Because we don't want to live in a world where something like the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School makes sense.
I wish you all peace.