Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Writerly Wednesday: Or not


Disclaimer: The following blog post is one of the most insanely idiotic things you will ever read. At no point in my rambling, incoherent writing am I even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in who reads this will be dumber for having read it. Feel free to award me no points, and may God have mercy on my soul.
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Due to unforeseen circumstances (Of course it's unforeseen. What do you think I am? One of Dionne Warwick's psychic friends.), I will not be posting a Writerly Wednesday blog.

Unless, of course, you consider it a post that I posted I'm not going to post.

Then there is a Writerly Wednesday blog post. It's just not about being writerly. Well, I did include that thing about the unnecessary usage of the word "unforeseen."

When you think about it, it's not even unnecessary usage.

The word itself is quite useless because, like I said, all things are unforeseen.

Technically.

Maybe I should have said, "Due to circumstances beyond my control..."

That's still off though.

I mean, no one is really in control. Control is an illusion.

We may think we have control. We can take control of plans. We can form an idea of what we'd like to have happen.

But something -- you know, like Mother Nature throwing a bowling ball-sized hailstone at your house or the pizza delivery man showing up at your door with anchovies when you ordered pepperoni but you ate the anchovies anyway and realized later that you're allergic to fish and ended up in the hospital being treated for anaphylactic shock -- can always mess up those plans.

By the way, that didn't really happen.

I am allergic to fish, but I'd send the pizza delivery boy back to get the pizza I ordered before I'd touch an anchovy.

And bowling ball-sized hailstones?

Yeah, that's not going to happen.

At least, I could never see that happening.

I guess that would be unforeseen. Maybe that word isn't so useless after all.

4 comments:

lbdiamond said...

Bwahahahaha! I totally go off on these tangents too! Thanks for sharing!! :D

Kat Harris said...

One of my co-workers is the king of writing blog posts like this. He's a sports writer, and somehow he always manages to fit in sports (and an Alf or Saved by the Bell reference).

I hadn't intended to write a post like this, but once I started, it became a challenge to finish.

KM Wilsher said...

wow! (my word verification says: redat. .. Did you read that :)

Maggie May said...

i loved what you had to say in your previous post about a mental diagnosis and then seeing a specialist= SO TRUE! keep at the writing.