I have reason to believe my house is haunted.
I haven’t seen any ghostly apparitions floating between bedrooms. Nor have I heard rattling chains or disembodied voices.
But these ghosts have left evidence of their presence. Lights burning in vacant rooms. Dirty dishes cluttering the counter. Newspapers scattered on the table. Clothing strewn about in my children’s rooms. (They especially like my teenager’s room.)
What’s worse is I believe my children have seen these specters and have talked to them. They know their names: “Not Me,” “I Didn’t Do It,” and “I Don’t Know. Don’t Look At Me.”
My youngest told me about the first ghost one afternoon when I walked into the bathroom and found an empty toilet paper roll hanging on the holder.
“Who used all of the toilet paper and didn’t replace the roll?” I asked.
She replied: “Not Me.”
Last summer, I’d frequently come home from work to find an empty Cheetos bag in the living room. My kids couldn't have done this. They know food belongs in the kitchen.
I’d ask: “Who polished off the Cheetos and didn’t throw away the bag?”
They’d answer: “I Didn’t Do It.”
The other day was the last straw. I found hundreds of Legos spread across the living room floor. Now, I remember boxing these Legos up last summer. I couldn’t understand how they got from the attic to the living room floor all by themselves, so I asked my daughter: “How did these Legos get on the floor?”
She replied: “I Don’t Know. Don’t Look At Me.”
So I’m trying to decide. Do I hire a team of paranormal investigators? Or do I bring in the heavy artillery and contact an exorcist?