Friday, February 5, 2010

A haunting in Nebraska

I have reason to believe my house is haunted.

I haven’t seen any ghostly apparitions floating between bedrooms. Nor have I heard rattling chains or disembodied voices.

But these ghosts have left evidence of their presence. Lights burning in vacant rooms. Dirty dishes cluttering the counter. Newspapers scattered on the table. Clothing strewn about in my children’s rooms. (They especially like my teenager’s room.)

What’s worse is I believe my children have seen these specters and have talked to them. They know their names: “Not Me,” “I Didn’t Do It,” and “I Don’t Know. Don’t Look At Me.”

My youngest told me about the first ghost one afternoon when I walked into the bathroom and found an empty toilet paper roll hanging on the holder.

“Who used all of the toilet paper and didn’t replace the roll?” I asked.

She replied: “Not Me.”

Last summer, I’d frequently come home from work to find an empty Cheetos bag in the living room. My kids couldn't have done this. They know food belongs in the kitchen.

I’d ask: “Who polished off the Cheetos and didn’t throw away the bag?”

They’d answer: “I Didn’t Do It.”

The other day was the last straw. I found hundreds of Legos spread across the living room floor. Now, I remember boxing these Legos up last summer. I couldn’t understand how they got from the attic to the living room floor all by themselves, so I asked my daughter: “How did these Legos get on the floor?”

She replied: “I Don’t Know. Don’t Look At Me.”

So I’m trying to decide. Do I hire a team of paranormal investigators? Or do I bring in the heavy artillery and contact an exorcist?

5 comments:

Aubrie said...

That's really funny! I don't have any kids, just two dogs, so I don't know what to tell you.

Good luck with your "ghosts" :)

Nisa said...

I'd go with both! In these types of situations, overkill isn't a bad thing! Good luck!

C. K. Bryant said...

HOLY COW!! Those same ghosts have been visiting my house as well. I wonder how they get around so much. Maybe we should install some of those fancy night vision cameras or those EVP recorders. ROFL!!

Good Luck.

I just became a follower of your blog. Great post!

Sandra said...

Have you read the book Nutureshock? I'm in the middle of it now, and it talks about kids and lying. Kids learn to lie at a much earlier age than we think, and they do it because they don't want to get into trouble or because they think it will make their parents happy.

I think the best way to deal with these ghosts is not to ask their names, but simply tell your kids to clean up after them. Though I must admit your approach is much funnier.

Kat Harris said...

Aubrie -- I'm sure if my dog could talk, he'd be telling me the same thing. He's been known to make a mess or two, especially when my daughter wears her animal-shaped slippers and he thinks he needs to "save" her. (Those things have way more stuffing inside than you might think.)

Nisa -- I figured I should do both. I think I have to contact the paranormal investigators before the exorcist anyway. At least, that's the way it works on TV. :-)

C.K. -- Thanks for visiting! I'd heard of other houses being tormented by the same spirits. Do yours leave cupboard doors open too? That's the thing that really gets me. We should form a support group.

Sandra -- I think the youngest does it because she wants to see the oldest get into trouble. I think the oldest does it to get back at the youngest. They'd both flip if I hired the Ghosthunters. :-)