Friday, October 3, 2008

Redneck revealed

A malfunctioning alternator in my minivan has destroyed my professional guise. Driving my husband's pickup has revealed me for the redneck that I am.

Noisy pipes. Chipping paint. Flames in the back window.

Just call me Joe Dirt.

I haven't had to drive this beast since last Christmas. My husband, who had just endured shoulder surgery, needed my van to drive our kids from point A to point B. My boss and his wife were hosting a holiday dinner at their home in a really nice neighborhood in Norfolk.

As if it isn't bad enough parking your redneck truck in the driveway at your boss's house, the back of the truck contained cargo that my husband's malfunctioning shoulder prevented us from immediately discarding -- a broken refrigerator.

Imagine, if you will, the look on my boss' face when this truck pulls up in his driveway -- flames, pipes, chipping paint, spent appliances in the bed. I'm sure I made him proud.

I made it through most of the dinner without anyone commenting on my wheels. In fact, no one said a thing until we were walking out the door and one of them turned to me and asked: "So, Kathryn, does that refrigerator keep your roadkill fresh?"

I hope my van is fixed soon.


Lynn Rush said...

OMG. That is hysterical!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And what you posted on my blog is funny too! You crack me up, girl!

TerriRainer said...

Being from an area FULL of rednecks, I feel your pain!
I guess I must have a bit of pick around the collar myself, since as a teen I BEGGED my dad to paint flames on my Camaro!

:) Terri

Kat Harris said...

Oh, Terri...There's definitely a time and a place and automobiles that should have flames. I mean, what's a Camaro or Firebird without flames. :-)

But the flames on my hubby's truck are in the back window and they're a cheesy mix of bright red, sunshine yellow and dark orange.

Mrs. Mc Q said...

Kat, I laughed my fool head off. And I completely empathize. Until recently my husband had an old red 13 passenger van that I called his F..N red van. I hated this thing with a passion. Stinky, ratty seats,it took a step ladder to get into, no radio, no air and worst of all you had to drive with your left leg up in the air because the wheel well was so huge.(So if you drove it far you would end up with a back ache). The back usually housed old ladders, old greasy tools and a big water jug that made an awful thud as you rounded corners. Thankfully it has gone to the red van heaven near Dodge. Jody